My friends… at least the single ones, are constantly coming to me for “dating” advice. And when that happens, I laugh. In the entire history of the world, I’m like the least qualified person to be giving out advice about dating. Getting a guy for a quick fling, sure I’m your girl. But Honey, if your actually seriously about getting with someone long-term… walk away from me lol.
I think co-workers and friends just liked hearing my stories each week about my weekend romps and whatever hilarious guy I was with recently. And I do have a flair for the dramatic when I tell those stories, as well as way too many dick pics to back them up.
Oh, and seriously what is with guys sending out those pics if I haven’t asked for them, which I think I’ve done maybe twice. It’s like a guy thinks if I have given him my number, then I want to see a picture of his junk. SOOO NOT TRUE! I gave you my number so we could hook up sometime. If I got to the point of giving you my number, than I already plan on sleeping with you, you don’t need to try to “impress” me with your penis. I’ll see it eventually. Ohhh and a heads up (lol, pun intended) it probably won’t be the best dick pic I’ve ever gotten so PLEASE stop sending them. I honestly keep them for a month or two (not even, sometimes it DUA/delete upon arrival lol), and then delete them to make room for pictures of my kids on my phone. I have only 2 dick pics on my phone right now, and they both belong to the same guy so it probably only counts as one. But to be straight up, I never look at them, or have “used it” while taking care of my business on my own. Like it does not turn me on. But to each their own.
I think some chicks were jealous of the sheer number of guys I was dealing with at certain times. But to be honest ladies, it’s not hard at all. Like if you want dick… it’s out there and pussy has power. So the choice is yours. I don’t regret the number of guys I’ve fucked, because for the most part I’ve enjoyed them. Sure there’s the odd dud every now and then, but that’s life. Sex is meant to be enjoyed. Would I prefer it to be enjoyed with one person… I think so, which is why I’ve deactivated my online dating accounts. But doesn’t mean I live in shame of the guys I slept with. Sometimes it just gets overwhelming…. Trying to remember who is who can get complicated.
But doesn’t mean I live in shame of the guys I slept with in the past. It was what I wanted at the time, and made for some good memories.
Because, in messing around with all these guys, I learned so many different techniques and positions and was able to try out so many different sexual experiments that led me to learn what I like, as well as what I don’t. Things that I never would’ve experienced if I had ended up with W. Or even if I had stayed with E. For example I would’ve never found out that I’m a squirter from some older gentleman, while strapped spread-eagle to a bed and blindfolded, while he used his selection of “tools” (Squirting is something, as much as I enjoy, I also find annoying because when I squirt now, I find I’m just thinking about cleaning up the mess instead of enjoying myself) Point is, every “partner” has brought their own style and tricks to the bedroom/couch/table/countertop/floor/shower etc. and I’ve taken the good away from each encounter, and left the bad kissers, tiny dicks, sloppy tongues or whatever behind.
So am I experienced? Yes. Am I willing to try new things? Yes. Should I write a book called Dating for Dummies? Heck no! As noted before, I know nothing about dating, having never been on a “date” before. I have guys over, we have sex, and I try to get them out ASAP. They NEVER spend the night, and it’s even better when they don’t stay around for small chit chat after we’re done. I try and get my point across by getting dressed pretty much as soon as I’m done. Hoping they’ll take the hint… which has been pretty successful so far.
So if you want a “How To” book from me, it would definitely not be one on dating. It would be more along the lines of “How to Master the One Night Stand.”
-The Weeknd/Wicked Games-