Hands Roam, I Turned Him to Gold/Get Drunk on the Good Life/Smoke a Little Weed on the Couch

In grade 11, my parents made the mistake of trusting me home alone for the weekend. They were taking a vacation alone (good for them) and for some reason felt I was mature enough to handle the house on my own. Oh for sure I was… I just choose not to make the best decisions that weekend. R had been kicked out of the house by then, yeah I know hey, for someone so religious now, she sure was a pain in the ass growing up, and N was to young (maybe 12ish) so she stayed at a friends house for the couple days. And me? Well I did what any 15-16 year old would do with a massive empty house for the whole weekend. I threw a huge party. 

At first, the plan was just for a few of my close friends to come and get smashed without any adults around. So maybe a dozen of us.  But as plans started coming together, everyone wanted to be at my place, and soon it seemed like we would be topping 50 easy. I figured it wasn’t that big of a deal. We had arranged for someone to get us a shit ton of alcohol and… well other party accessories lol. And I thought no problem. 

Friday rolls around and fucking EVERYONE at school is playing up this seemingly ridiculous party happening at my place. Someone even made flyers with my address on it. Flyers. For my party. That I didn’t make. With my address. 

“BYOB TO “C’S HOUSE (address) 9 PM TONIGHT” 

So here I am little miss goody two shoes, apparently throwing the rager of the year? I guess it’s too late to back down now lol. I skipped afternoon classes with a couple friends to prep for that night, you know hide the valuables etc. Just kidding, I actually cleaned the house up, which in hindsight? Dumbest thing to do. High school aged kids don’t give two shits what your house looks like. But you know who does? My parents. So I just had to reclean again after. Waste of my time. 

But anyways, Friday night rolls around and I have never seen so many people in my house at once before or since. And we’ve had a lot of people in that house, I mean N got married in it, it’s so big for fuck sakes but this party was way more packed then her 100+ people wedding. The music was blaring, drinks were flowing, air was sweet and smoky. It was going amazing. 

So great, that it set the scene for my first kiss. Now we’ve all kissed kids on dares in Elementary school or whatever, but this was my first actual kiss… and then some 😜. His name was K (yeah I know, 2 K’s… I’ll call this one…white K? Nope… First K? Nah… Cherry K? Haha winner)  

So a bunch of us are chilling on a couch downstairs and I’ve of course had a fair amount to drink. No scratch that. I’ve had to much to drink. Mmm no. Not to much. Ok, let’s just say I’ve had the most to drink that I’ve ever had in my short 16 years and I’m learning that alcohol makes me hella horny. So Cherry K is beside me on the couch, or more like under me because I had somehow sprawled on top of him, and he does what any normal 16 year old boy would do in that circumstance. He starts caressing me, here and there… and there. And we are all on the couch with maybe 4 other people, and I didn’t care. I leaned up to kiss him and that was that. We made out downstairs for about 20 minutes, nothing to serious, until someone needed something from me, toilet paper or something. So I left to deal with my hosting duties. 

Cherry K came to find me less then 10 minutes later and we went in search of a more private place to pick up where we left off. Finding somewhere quiet in a house that was packed to the rafters with drunk/high teens was not an easy task. We finally kicked a couple kids out of the den, and settled on the couch where thing got much more involved then before. 

Cherry K is definitely a good kisser. But even better then his lips? His hands. Keeping it real, I LOVE a good make out session. In fact, sometimes I’d rather that than sex. Or at least that then sex 😁. But Cherry K knew all the spots, and knew them well. And though we kinda kept our clothes on despite Cherry K’s repeated attempts to convince me otherwise, we still had hands down pants and up shirts with lips everywhere and it was fantastic. I just knew I didn’t wanna fuck this dude. Didn’t mean we both couldn’t enjoy ourselves for an hour or two right? So we did, with the occasional interruption from extremely drunk friends opening the door every once in a while, and depending on their state of inebriation would either make the “oooooooh” sounds or stand and watch until someone else booted them away and politely closed the door for us. 

My best friend (also named K, shit you’d think that was a more rare letter?) was the worst that night. I didn’t know until after, but I guess she had liked Cherry K and in her drunkeness she would just continue to open the door to watch. A few other friends finally started to babysit her, especially since she spilt her drinks all over herself and had to be changed. She was so far gone she couldn’t dress herself and so we had to change her into some of my dry, clean clothes. For our efforts, we told her the next day it was because she had jumped into the lake outside my parents house, something she believes to this day. 

She couldn’t remember jumping into the lake (because it didn’t happen) but remembered I made out with her crush. Which she hated me for after that. K choose to stop speaking to me because I made out with the guy she liked, but never told anyone about. Teenage girls are strange I tell you. 

But back to the party. Yes the cops were called. At about 3 in the morning some neighbors from across the lake were sick of the loud music and busted us. Lesson learned? Sound travels across water. The cops let us off with a warning since there were a few people over 18 and the weed was all gone by then. Most people cabbed it home, and the best part? Nothing was broken or damaged! My friends stayed around and helped clean up on Saturday and my parents were none the wiser when they got home Sunday night. 

I told them years later. You know, after I had moved out and they couldn’t do anything about it lol. But I told them it was small, like originally planned, and since nothing went missing or broke, and no one was arrested, I figure we’re all good. 

I just hope no one got pregnant or something in another room cause I know what I was doing… I can only imagine what else was going on.  OMG 😲 I literally just thought about what if someone fucked on my bed! Ahhhh man. Never throwing a party again lol. 
-The Chainsmokers/Roses-


5 thoughts on “Hands Roam, I Turned Him to Gold/Get Drunk on the Good Life/Smoke a Little Weed on the Couch”

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