I’m Not Gonna Tell You That I’m Over It, I Think About It Every Night I’m Not Sober / If I’m Being Honest

So Army Guy convinced me to go for lunch. And now he's late. My fricken number one pet peeve is people who are late. Like seriously how special do you think you are that you feel you can make people wait for you?

Ohh wait, he just called (already 10 minutes late) to say he's just pulling in. Hmmmm not too impressed. I'll let you know how it goes.


Well lunch was decent. Nothing out of the ordinary bad, but nothing exciting good either. I definitely get the STRONG impression that Army Guy (who only gets that name because he's also a K… Were K names big in the 80's?) only wants to have sex. Like I'm sorry that your super horny but it's not my problem you haven't had sex in however long and I just got laid like last week… (Yeaaaaa, boyfriend request guy? I invited him over to talk that night, and well, we all know how that normally ends up, especially since I've already slept with him) So anyways, it's not up to me to make sure Army Guy gets laid. I decided I wanna try the whole dating thing, and if he can't be patient, then move along, because I sure will.

Also… Oh Man. I got home yesterday and had an express post package in my mailbox from the institution K is at. For a brief moment I had so many emotions flood my mind. First I thought maybe he wrote finally, but why express post? Then I thought it might be the prison notifying me of something wrong. I opened that package so fast!

Welp. It was the money order I sent over two weeks ago to K.

At first glance I thought K was so mad at me he refused the money I sent, but then I saw a letter from the prison.  The institution had filled out a form saying the correspondence wouldn't be accepted because I was not on the inmates list of approved contacts, and therefore they were returning it to the original sender.

OH. MY. GOSH! It explains soooo many things.

So now, I'm back to texting the Ex, and the best friend, explaining what happened. Basically, K can't call anyone without cash in his inmate account, and I thought he had money this whole time. But the tricky thing is, that we cannot contact him to tell him to add our name/address to his "approved list"

To be quite honest, I don't think he even knows he needs to put people's names of this "list" because he's been expecting me to send him money from the jump, when I finally got his final pay check from his work. So this thing has been one shit show after another.

K is probably sitting in a cell, thinking everyone's abandoned him. Thinking no ones cared enough to send money or write to him. When the reality of it is, the institution hasn't taken the correct steps to make sure K knows what he needs to do, to receive the money/letters on his end.

So I asked the Ex to spread the word to his family and friends in case he does call anyone, to have them tell K to contact whoever he wants on his list, and get their address. So then at least he can receive things from them.

As for K and I?

Well this does help explain why he hasn't called. And maybe I did judge him to fast. Also, unfortunately for Army Guy and every other guy I've been talking to, I can't help but compare every thing they do to K. Mostly when they act like douche bags… My first thought is K would never treat me like that.

Maybe he wrecked me for good. Maybe I need more time to get over him. Maybe this is the Universes way of saying I shouldn't even try to get over him, that we were meant to be together, because as soon as I sent that letter on Sunday, all this stuff that kept drawing me back to him started happening.

For someone who prefers a nice quiet life, this sure is a lot of drama for me.

 

-Chainsmokers/Honest-

https://youtu.be/ZVr1i5AV0yA

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