I Never Lose Nothing But Damn I Done Had It I Ain’t Never Strike Out They Can’t Average What I Batted No

So thanks to E constantly delaying the divorce, today is officially my eight year wedding anniversary. And I've spent 3.5 of those years trying to put E in my past. It's a work in progress.

August 7th, 2009. The seventh day, of the eighth month, of the ninth year. E didn't care when we got married but to me it was important and plus it looked aesthetically pleasing on the invitation. 07.08.09.

But now, 8 years later and it's all a moot point. 8 years of shit with him that, to be fair is almost done. The divorce papers (like I'm sure I've said before) are almost signed. We're just waiting on E and hopefully he doesn't find something else to comment on and ask to change last minute again.
But that's not the reason I'm writing today.

When I woke up this morning, on my 'anniversary' I found myself reflecting back at my life not so much during the past eight years, but more just the past 1 year, and at how much has changed, and I just wanted to do a recap. Mostly for myself. To remind myself, that yeah C, you continue to make shitty mistakes but you also are growing as an individual. And that's what's important.
So, without further ado, here's my year in review.

  • I bought and moved into my very own house with only my name on the mortgage
  • I quit a high stress job for an equal paying position but I work only 4 days a week now, receive bonuses and my boss is way cooler
  • I tried both marijuana and shrooms for the first time this year and now take edibles almost daily. They've helped so much with the headaches I used to get from my seizures.
  • I got my empty birdcage tattoo to represent that there are no bars holding me back anymore as well as replaced two piercings (one on my wrist and one on my ankle) I had to remove a long time ago for an MRI.
  • Added a few notches to my bedpost, some better than others.
  • I fell more in love than ever with someone I didn't expect and actually tried to avoid, only to have my heart truly broken.
  • I went to a shooting range and shot a gun for the first time, doing quite well at it.
  • I bought tickets for my first couple concerts. Jay Z in December, and also I'm taking my Dad to see Guns and Roses this month for his birthday… to be honest I'm actually most excited to see Our Lady Peace who's opening for them lol, they were the first CD I ever bought and Innocent is my jam!
  • Had my Grandma pass away.
  • Stopped attending church to take some time and figure out what I truly believe.
  • Went to a psychic for the first time for a palm reading and chakra clearing.
  • Got pregnant and miscarried.
  • Started my first official diet (Jenny Craig), that I chose to do on my own not because my mom was pressuring me to. And have lost 15 pounds on it so far (about 1.5 months).
  • Heck I even went on 2 firsts 'dates' where I didn't fuck the guy right then and there!
  • Bought a guitar (I owned 2 as a teen but I sold one and the other was stolen when E and I had our house broken into) yesterday actually with the money order that was returned from K. I realized if music is my passion, and I love it so much, then do something about it again. Make a way to enjoy it more in my every day life. K told me to save the money for him, but didn't give me a chance to explain on the phone that I still couldn't get his check from his shady boss, and that the money I sent was straight outta my pocket. So I reinvested it into myself. In a way I'll always enjoy.
  • Started this blog 😎.

So maybe I am growing as a person. Maybe I have learned from some of my mistakes. Maybe I am becoming a better me. Oh trust me, I know I'm still making stupid choices. But maybe… just maybe, they are becoming fewer and farther between?

So for now, I'm for real going to go buy myself some roses. Because I can. And I need them. And I'm the only one who's gonna do it.

-Future Ft. Nicki Minaj/You Da Baddest-

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2 thoughts on “I Never Lose Nothing But Damn I Done Had It I Ain’t Never Strike Out They Can’t Average What I Batted No”

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