Figures, I Gave You Ride Or Die And You Gave Me Games/Love Figures I Gave You All And You Gave Me Shit

I've never felt so outright disrespected probably ever, at least that I can remember. W? He was killed. E? Never knew what he was doing. But this? This is K actively being... well just awful. So the mess with K? Well I've been working behind the scene trying to get word to him. Making sure… Continue reading Figures, I Gave You Ride Or Die And You Gave Me Games/Love Figures I Gave You All And You Gave Me Shit

Mama She has Taught Me Well Told Me When I Was Young Son Your Life’s an Open Book Don’t Close it ‘Fore it’s Done

So I took the kids to the park yesterday and as Z went off on the slide, little E and I had our "conversation" The whole "why doesn't dad live with us" question that he had asked me earlier in the day... I thought I had mentally prepped my answer, thought it through, and I… Continue reading Mama She has Taught Me Well Told Me When I Was Young Son Your Life’s an Open Book Don’t Close it ‘Fore it’s Done

By Now You Should’ve Somehow Realized What You Gotta do I Don’t Believe that Anybody Feels the Way I Do About You Now

This post is just some odds and ends about everything that's been happening lately. I just don't feel like going to deep into anything because life has been really handing it to me this week, but have I have a lot of quick updates I'd like to share.  My Grandma apparently specified that all the… Continue reading By Now You Should’ve Somehow Realized What You Gotta do I Don’t Believe that Anybody Feels the Way I Do About You Now

Bitch Better Have My Money, Pay Me What You Owe Me

$36,408.00 That's how much E currently owes me in back pay for child support. I've been trying to sort this thing out with my lawyer for what feels like forever now, and I feel like (hopefully) we're nearing the finish line with this whole divorce. To be honest, it could've been much worse than how… Continue reading Bitch Better Have My Money, Pay Me What You Owe Me

There’s Such a Difference Between us, and a Million Miles 

This morning I remembered about a time I was "in love" before W. Do I think you can love more than one person in your life? Yes, we are human and feel emotions for people. But, what I felt for J should probably be classified more as an infatuation or a fling, and because I… Continue reading There’s Such a Difference Between us, and a Million Miles 

I’ll Choose to Survive, Whatever it Takes 

Yesterday I took my kids to the zoo, where I got my first mosquito bite of the year. I'm sure no one's a fan of mosquitoes, but I have a particular hatred towards them. When I lived in Kenya they took an extreme liking to me. I could stand in a group  of people, didn't… Continue reading I’ll Choose to Survive, Whatever it Takes 

I Tear Myself Open I Sew Myself Shut / Our Scars Remind Us That the Past is Real. 

My biggest physical scar is from E. We had been apart for about 9 months due to immigration issues. So he was stuck in Kenya and I had had to come back to Canada to support us and little E. I sent E money every week for his rent and groceries and whatever else he… Continue reading I Tear Myself Open I Sew Myself Shut / Our Scars Remind Us That the Past is Real. 

I’m Friends With the Monster That’s Under My Bed. Get Along With the Voices Inside of My Head

Once E was served with divorce papers, he called me freaking out. It took over two months for my lawyer and I to get everything straightened out on paper and all the proper documents filled out, before he was actually notified on April 29, 2014. All the time between my flying back from Kenya and… Continue reading I’m Friends With the Monster That’s Under My Bed. Get Along With the Voices Inside of My Head

Flaws On the Table, I Don’t Feel Insecure

Today I have to write just to get out of my head. Last night K called again, and somewhere during folding laundry and watching the hockey game, he threw out this... "offer" or "suggestion" shall we call it. To paraphrase, he brought up how I was considering a boob job among other things, and said… Continue reading Flaws On the Table, I Don’t Feel Insecure

I Got a Notion to Say What Doesn’t Feel Right

As it stands now, I hate Mother's Day. This will be my 7th Mother's Day, and I've yet to enjoy a single one. Yes, I've been a single parent for 3 of them already, coming up on my forth this Sunday, and I'm actually dreading it. When married to E, he never understood the whole… Continue reading I Got a Notion to Say What Doesn’t Feel Right