I’ll Take A Breath, I’ll Take Her By My Side We Stand In Awe, We’ve Created Life

With little E's birthday yesterday and Z's coming up next week, it's really been hitting a chord I didn't even know I had. I want another baby. My kids are growing up and soon I'll have a 4 & 7 year old in my house and I won't even be able to pretend I have… Continue reading I’ll Take A Breath, I’ll Take Her By My Side We Stand In Awe, We’ve Created Life

A Lady In The Street But A Freak In The Bed

I just wanna cry. At myself. At my continuous dumb decisions. At the world. At men. At life right now. I'm literally overwhelmed. And crying as I type, yet I can't pinpoint the exact reason why because so many fucked up things continue to occur. I thought I was done with K after that letter… Continue reading A Lady In The Street But A Freak In The Bed

Through It All We Will Remain In This Life We All Know Friends May Come They May Go Through The Years I Know I Will Stay

Some of you have asked why I even bother with K anymore like writing to him etc. K has been there for me in ways I can't even explain, but I'll give you a few examples. One simple time that crosses my mind was once when I got high, and we were on the phone.… Continue reading Through It All We Will Remain In This Life We All Know Friends May Come They May Go Through The Years I Know I Will Stay

Take Me To Church I’ll Worship Like A Dog At The Shrine Of Your Lies

So after K got sent back, I had a little falling out with my mother. I was emotional and needed someone to talk to and you'd think by now I'd have learned that that person should never be my judgemental mom but deep down inside I still want to have a open and good relationship… Continue reading Take Me To Church I’ll Worship Like A Dog At The Shrine Of Your Lies

I Can See Clearly Now the Rain is Gone

Fuck me? Because I showed you a part of you that you don't want to believe?  Fuck me? Because you know I'm right and you're scared that I know you so well?  Fuck me? Because your worried how you felt about my opinion bothered you so much?  Fuck me? Because you know you wanted to… Continue reading I Can See Clearly Now the Rain is Gone

If Your Not the One for Me Why do I Hate the Idea of Being Free/Why Have We Been Through What We Have Been Through 

Making the best choice for yourself in life is shitty sometimes. Whether it's as simple as eating healthy food vs. a cheeseburger or cutting out people who you feel aren't the best for you in order to make room for someone who will help you grow better. Both aren't fun, but the "friend" option is… Continue reading If Your Not the One for Me Why do I Hate the Idea of Being Free/Why Have We Been Through What We Have Been Through 

To Be in Love With Someone Who Could Never Love You

Have you ever been in a relationship or just a friendship where you felt like they were your everything and you were just 'something' to them... at best?  Or where you can't be with them because of dumb or made up reason and you find yourself always having to contain your feelings/emotions for them because… Continue reading To Be in Love With Someone Who Could Never Love You

While You Laughin’ We’re Passin’ Passin’ Away 

Stoic. Heartless. Cold blooded.  Emotionless. Indifferent. Uncaring. Reserved. Nonchalant. Apathetic. Matter of fact. Bitch. All names I've been called in the past that make complete sense to me now.  I received the call today. My grandma passed away a couple of hours ago. And I really, unfortunately don't feel anything towards the situation. And that… Continue reading While You Laughin’ We’re Passin’ Passin’ Away 

Baby Don’t Cry! I Hope You Got Your Head up. 

Friday I went back to the naturopath who's been helping me with my liver. Which I found out is doing better thanks to Dr. K.  Last time I was there, she had recommended a B12 shot that would bypass the digestive system since she'd inject it right in my arm, and I could experience the… Continue reading Baby Don’t Cry! I Hope You Got Your Head up. 

I Remember All the Feelings and the Day They Stopped

Last summer, after I bought my own house (Yeah me!), I fell back into old habits (Boo me). Like they say, old habits die hard. I hadn't slept with anyone since I had left E almost 2.5 years ago, since I had more important things to focus on.  So I was just really wanting that feeling of someone else… Continue reading I Remember All the Feelings and the Day They Stopped