Am I Dead? Or Is This One Of Those Dreams? Those Horrible Dreams That Seem Like They Last Forever?

I just need a break. Seriously life, just back off with the shit throwing OK? Deal? So as promised, well not even promised but told to E yesterday, the kids and I called him last night to video chat. During which he proceeded to inform me that his Dad's burial is on the same day… Continue reading Am I Dead? Or Is This One Of Those Dreams? Those Horrible Dreams That Seem Like They Last Forever?

I Never Lose Nothing But Damn I Done Had It I Ain’t Never Strike Out They Can’t Average What I Batted No

So thanks to E constantly delaying the divorce, today is officially my eight year wedding anniversary. And I've spent 3.5 of those years trying to put E in my past. It's a work in progress. August 7th, 2009. The seventh day, of the eighth month, of the ninth year. E didn't care when we got… Continue reading I Never Lose Nothing But Damn I Done Had It I Ain’t Never Strike Out They Can’t Average What I Batted No

Figures, I Gave You Ride Or Die And You Gave Me Games/Love Figures I Gave You All And You Gave Me Shit

I've never felt so outright disrespected probably ever, at least that I can remember. W? He was killed. E? Never knew what he was doing. But this? This is K actively being... well just awful. So the mess with K? Well I've been working behind the scene trying to get word to him. Making sure… Continue reading Figures, I Gave You Ride Or Die And You Gave Me Games/Love Figures I Gave You All And You Gave Me Shit

I’ll Take A Breath, I’ll Take Her By My Side We Stand In Awe, We’ve Created Life

With little E's birthday yesterday and Z's coming up next week, it's really been hitting a chord I didn't even know I had. I want another baby. My kids are growing up and soon I'll have a 4 & 7 year old in my house and I won't even be able to pretend I have… Continue reading I’ll Take A Breath, I’ll Take Her By My Side We Stand In Awe, We’ve Created Life

Happy Birthday To You Happy Birthday Dear Little E, Happy Birthday To You.

Today is little E's 7th birthday. And I have so many things I've been wanting to post about, but decided to write about the day he was born. Because that's a story of its own! My pregnancy with little E went great. Absolutely no morning sickness, none of the uncomfortable sleeping at night, just a… Continue reading Happy Birthday To You Happy Birthday Dear Little E, Happy Birthday To You.

Wake Me Up When It’s All Over. When I’m Wiser And I’m Older. 

As we were preparing to get married, E shared a "tradition" from back home that he wanted us to partake in. This might be difficult to explain as it's regarding names and I try to avoid them, as well as the fact that the "tradition" turned out to be 100% fake, and we did something… Continue reading Wake Me Up When It’s All Over. When I’m Wiser And I’m Older. 

Love in a Thousand Different Flavours I Wish That I Could Taste Them all Tonight No, I Ain’t Got No Dinner Plans

After W was killed, months had passed since the funeral and I had had multiple conversations with myself about "moving on". One week I particular I found my thoughts constantly dwelling on things like 'was I ready', and if I was how would I even meet someone new?!? I no longer went to the club/pub/bars,… Continue reading Love in a Thousand Different Flavours I Wish That I Could Taste Them all Tonight No, I Ain’t Got No Dinner Plans

All The Good Girls Are Home With Broken Hearts ‘And I’m Free, I’m Free Falling

So at my family dinner on Canada Day, I brought up the fact that I would like to go skydiving, and asked would anyone want to go with me. Purely from the selfish point of view that the larger the group the bigger discount I get 😂.  Wow. Until this point, I honestly did not… Continue reading All The Good Girls Are Home With Broken Hearts ‘And I’m Free, I’m Free Falling

Mama She has Taught Me Well Told Me When I Was Young Son Your Life’s an Open Book Don’t Close it ‘Fore it’s Done

So I took the kids to the park yesterday and as Z went off on the slide, little E and I had our "conversation" The whole "why doesn't dad live with us" question that he had asked me earlier in the day... I thought I had mentally prepped my answer, thought it through, and I… Continue reading Mama She has Taught Me Well Told Me When I Was Young Son Your Life’s an Open Book Don’t Close it ‘Fore it’s Done

By Now You Should’ve Somehow Realized What You Gotta do I Don’t Believe that Anybody Feels the Way I Do About You Now

This post is just some odds and ends about everything that's been happening lately. I just don't feel like going to deep into anything because life has been really handing it to me this week, but have I have a lot of quick updates I'd like to share.  My Grandma apparently specified that all the… Continue reading By Now You Should’ve Somehow Realized What You Gotta do I Don’t Believe that Anybody Feels the Way I Do About You Now