Wake Me Up When It’s All Over. When I’m Wiser And I’m Older. 

As we were preparing to get married, E shared a "tradition" from back home that he wanted us to partake in. This might be difficult to explain as it's regarding names and I try to avoid them, as well as the fact that the "tradition" turned out to be 100% fake, and we did something… Continue reading Wake Me Up When It’s All Over. When I’m Wiser And I’m Older. 

Mama She has Taught Me Well Told Me When I Was Young Son Your Life’s an Open Book Don’t Close it ‘Fore it’s Done

So I took the kids to the park yesterday and as Z went off on the slide, little E and I had our "conversation" The whole "why doesn't dad live with us" question that he had asked me earlier in the day... I thought I had mentally prepped my answer, thought it through, and I… Continue reading Mama She has Taught Me Well Told Me When I Was Young Son Your Life’s an Open Book Don’t Close it ‘Fore it’s Done

Bitch Better Have My Money, Pay Me What You Owe Me

$36,408.00 That's how much E currently owes me in back pay for child support. I've been trying to sort this thing out with my lawyer for what feels like forever now, and I feel like (hopefully) we're nearing the finish line with this whole divorce. To be honest, it could've been much worse than how… Continue reading Bitch Better Have My Money, Pay Me What You Owe Me

I Tear Myself Open I Sew Myself Shut / Our Scars Remind Us That the Past is Real. 

My biggest physical scar is from E. We had been apart for about 9 months due to immigration issues. So he was stuck in Kenya and I had had to come back to Canada to support us and little E. I sent E money every week for his rent and groceries and whatever else he… Continue reading I Tear Myself Open I Sew Myself Shut / Our Scars Remind Us That the Past is Real. 

I’m Friends With the Monster That’s Under My Bed. Get Along With the Voices Inside of My Head

Once E was served with divorce papers, he called me freaking out. It took over two months for my lawyer and I to get everything straightened out on paper and all the proper documents filled out, before he was actually notified on April 29, 2014. All the time between my flying back from Kenya and… Continue reading I’m Friends With the Monster That’s Under My Bed. Get Along With the Voices Inside of My Head

I Got a Notion to Say What Doesn’t Feel Right

As it stands now, I hate Mother's Day. This will be my 7th Mother's Day, and I've yet to enjoy a single one. Yes, I've been a single parent for 3 of them already, coming up on my forth this Sunday, and I'm actually dreading it. When married to E, he never understood the whole… Continue reading I Got a Notion to Say What Doesn’t Feel Right

Nobody Said It Was Easy. No One Ever Said It Would Be This Hard

I'd like to say that once I got back to Canada things got better fast. But that would be a complete lie. It was hard. There were so many stressful factors I didn't even consider when thinking the whole "leave E" thing through. My parents let us stay with them for which I am so… Continue reading Nobody Said It Was Easy. No One Ever Said It Would Be This Hard

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together

So today I was back at the airport for the first time since flying back from Kenya 3 years ago. I felt like a deja vu kinda thing happening. I had to head out there for work to meet some of the guys we'd recruited for work and it was just a causal meet and… Continue reading We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together

Tell the World I’m Coming… Home

I booked flights for about 10 days out. They were the right combination of cheapest and nearest in date. Well they weren't cheap, but I just wanted out of there ASAP. Then, after I booked the flights and paid, I sent an email to my mom letting her know our itinerary and just an update… Continue reading Tell the World I’m Coming… Home

Should I Stay Or Should I Go Now

I spent the next couple of days in what can only be described as a fog. I was there. I was alive. But I was definitely not thinking clearly. Everything was blurry. Fuzzy. I couldn't concentrate on any of the mundane day to day things that needed to be done. The kids needed to be… Continue reading Should I Stay Or Should I Go Now