I Never Lose Nothing But Damn I Done Had It I Ain’t Never Strike Out They Can’t Average What I Batted No

So thanks to E constantly delaying the divorce, today is officially my eight year wedding anniversary. And I've spent 3.5 of those years trying to put E in my past. It's a work in progress. August 7th, 2009. The seventh day, of the eighth month, of the ninth year. E didn't care when we got… Continue reading I Never Lose Nothing But Damn I Done Had It I Ain’t Never Strike Out They Can’t Average What I Batted No

Figures, I Gave You Ride Or Die And You Gave Me Games/Love Figures I Gave You All And You Gave Me Shit

I've never felt so outright disrespected probably ever, at least that I can remember. W? He was killed. E? Never knew what he was doing. But this? This is K actively being... well just awful. So the mess with K? Well I've been working behind the scene trying to get word to him. Making sure… Continue reading Figures, I Gave You Ride Or Die And You Gave Me Games/Love Figures I Gave You All And You Gave Me Shit

A Lady In The Street But A Freak In The Bed

I just wanna cry. At myself. At my continuous dumb decisions. At the world. At men. At life right now. I'm literally overwhelmed. And crying as I type, yet I can't pinpoint the exact reason why because so many fucked up things continue to occur. I thought I was done with K after that letter… Continue reading A Lady In The Street But A Freak In The Bed

Wake Me Up When It’s All Over. When I’m Wiser And I’m Older. 

As we were preparing to get married, E shared a "tradition" from back home that he wanted us to partake in. This might be difficult to explain as it's regarding names and I try to avoid them, as well as the fact that the "tradition" turned out to be 100% fake, and we did something… Continue reading Wake Me Up When It’s All Over. When I’m Wiser And I’m Older. 

Where Did I Go Wrong I Would Have Stayed Up With You All Night Had I Known How to Save a Life

I fucken messed up. Majorly. Not just something simple that I could fix with an apology. But I messed up someone's everyday living. I didn't tell the whole story about last Friday with K and I. Yes, K came over and told me he loved me. Yes, he said no strings attached. Yes, the sex… Continue reading Where Did I Go Wrong I Would Have Stayed Up With You All Night Had I Known How to Save a Life

If Your Not the One for Me Why do I Hate the Idea of Being Free/Why Have We Been Through What We Have Been Through 

Making the best choice for yourself in life is shitty sometimes. Whether it's as simple as eating healthy food vs. a cheeseburger or cutting out people who you feel aren't the best for you in order to make room for someone who will help you grow better. Both aren't fun, but the "friend" option is… Continue reading If Your Not the One for Me Why do I Hate the Idea of Being Free/Why Have We Been Through What We Have Been Through 

Bitch Better Have My Money, Pay Me What You Owe Me

$36,408.00 That's how much E currently owes me in back pay for child support. I've been trying to sort this thing out with my lawyer for what feels like forever now, and I feel like (hopefully) we're nearing the finish line with this whole divorce. To be honest, it could've been much worse than how… Continue reading Bitch Better Have My Money, Pay Me What You Owe Me

Nobody Said It Was Easy. No One Ever Said It Would Be This Hard

I'd like to say that once I got back to Canada things got better fast. But that would be a complete lie. It was hard. There were so many stressful factors I didn't even consider when thinking the whole "leave E" thing through. My parents let us stay with them for which I am so… Continue reading Nobody Said It Was Easy. No One Ever Said It Would Be This Hard

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together

So today I was back at the airport for the first time since flying back from Kenya 3 years ago. I felt like a deja vu kinda thing happening. I had to head out there for work to meet some of the guys we'd recruited for work and it was just a causal meet and… Continue reading We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together

Tell the World I’m Coming… Home

I booked flights for about 10 days out. They were the right combination of cheapest and nearest in date. Well they weren't cheap, but I just wanted out of there ASAP. Then, after I booked the flights and paid, I sent an email to my mom letting her know our itinerary and just an update… Continue reading Tell the World I’m Coming… Home