Am I Dead? Or Is This One Of Those Dreams? Those Horrible Dreams That Seem Like They Last Forever?

I just need a break. Seriously life, just back off with the shit throwing OK? Deal? So as promised, well not even promised but told to E yesterday, the kids and I called him last night to video chat. During which he proceeded to inform me that his Dad's burial is on the same day… Continue reading Am I Dead? Or Is This One Of Those Dreams? Those Horrible Dreams That Seem Like They Last Forever?

I Never Lose Nothing But Damn I Done Had It I Ain’t Never Strike Out They Can’t Average What I Batted No

So thanks to E constantly delaying the divorce, today is officially my eight year wedding anniversary. And I've spent 3.5 of those years trying to put E in my past. It's a work in progress. August 7th, 2009. The seventh day, of the eighth month, of the ninth year. E didn't care when we got… Continue reading I Never Lose Nothing But Damn I Done Had It I Ain’t Never Strike Out They Can’t Average What I Batted No

A Lady In The Street But A Freak In The Bed

I just wanna cry. At myself. At my continuous dumb decisions. At the world. At men. At life right now. I'm literally overwhelmed. And crying as I type, yet I can't pinpoint the exact reason why because so many fucked up things continue to occur. I thought I was done with K after that letter… Continue reading A Lady In The Street But A Freak In The Bed

She’s All Through, Life’s Not Blowing Her Kisses Thanks To You

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CbaxKcxtPY4Woooooow. I had an interesting night to say the least lol. It started Friday night when I had my 4 nieces sleepover and it was chaotic with 6 kids in my little townhouse (that's being kind). Then I drove them the half hour - 45 minutes back to their house during which we played a… Continue reading She’s All Through, Life’s Not Blowing Her Kisses Thanks To You

Through It All We Will Remain In This Life We All Know Friends May Come They May Go Through The Years I Know I Will Stay

Some of you have asked why I even bother with K anymore like writing to him etc. K has been there for me in ways I can't even explain, but I'll give you a few examples. One simple time that crosses my mind was once when I got high, and we were on the phone.… Continue reading Through It All We Will Remain In This Life We All Know Friends May Come They May Go Through The Years I Know I Will Stay

Please Don’t Look At Me With Those Eyes Please Don’t Hint That Your Capable Of Lies I Dread The Thought Of Our Very First Kiss

Maybe my tape measure is faulty, because I can think of no other logical explanation for how every man I've recently met recently whose profile said they were 6 feet plus, turned out near my height or as was the case last night, MUCH shorter. I'm 5'9, unless, like I said, every tool I've ever… Continue reading Please Don’t Look At Me With Those Eyes Please Don’t Hint That Your Capable Of Lies I Dread The Thought Of Our Very First Kiss

No, I Don’t Want Your Number No, I Don’t Want To Give You Mine And No, I Don’t Want To Meet You Nowhere No, I Don’t Want None Of Your Time

Holy! Men are literally coming outta the woodwork. I took a picture at work and posted it on the gram today (because I look amazing as I discussed yesterday lol) and my phones been going non-stop. I guess I should preface this by saying selfies for me used to be VERY rare. Like my whole… Continue reading No, I Don’t Want Your Number No, I Don’t Want To Give You Mine And No, I Don’t Want To Meet You Nowhere No, I Don’t Want None Of Your Time

Am I Out Of My Mind? If You Only Knew The Bad Things I Like Don’t Think That I Can Explain It. What Can I Say, It’s Complicated

So I've been in and out of touch with K since he first got re-arrested. I'm sorry I don't remember where I left off with this story so if I repeat myself or miss a whole chunk (hopefully not) please forgive me.  The last time I heard from him was Monday when he called again… Continue reading Am I Out Of My Mind? If You Only Knew The Bad Things I Like Don’t Think That I Can Explain It. What Can I Say, It’s Complicated

Love in a Thousand Different Flavours I Wish That I Could Taste Them all Tonight No, I Ain’t Got No Dinner Plans

After W was killed, months had passed since the funeral and I had had multiple conversations with myself about "moving on". One week I particular I found my thoughts constantly dwelling on things like 'was I ready', and if I was how would I even meet someone new?!? I no longer went to the club/pub/bars,… Continue reading Love in a Thousand Different Flavours I Wish That I Could Taste Them all Tonight No, I Ain’t Got No Dinner Plans

I’m at a Payphone Trying to Call Home All of My Change I Spent on You/Baby it’s All Wrong Where are the Plans We Made for Two

Nothing.  They say no news is good news, but that's the biggest pile of shit ever.  It's only been like just over 48 hours, so I'm trying to be patient, but I guess it's not a strong point of mine.  I started off my day yesterday researching where to even start looking for where to… Continue reading I’m at a Payphone Trying to Call Home All of My Change I Spent on You/Baby it’s All Wrong Where are the Plans We Made for Two