I Never Lose Nothing But Damn I Done Had It I Ain’t Never Strike Out They Can’t Average What I Batted No

So thanks to E constantly delaying the divorce, today is officially my eight year wedding anniversary. And I've spent 3.5 of those years trying to put E in my past. It's a work in progress. August 7th, 2009. The seventh day, of the eighth month, of the ninth year. E didn't care when we got… Continue reading I Never Lose Nothing But Damn I Done Had It I Ain’t Never Strike Out They Can’t Average What I Batted No

She’s All Through, Life’s Not Blowing Her Kisses Thanks To You

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CbaxKcxtPY4Woooooow. I had an interesting night to say the least lol. It started Friday night when I had my 4 nieces sleepover and it was chaotic with 6 kids in my little townhouse (that's being kind). Then I drove them the half hour - 45 minutes back to their house during which we played a… Continue reading She’s All Through, Life’s Not Blowing Her Kisses Thanks To You

Through It All We Will Remain In This Life We All Know Friends May Come They May Go Through The Years I Know I Will Stay

Some of you have asked why I even bother with K anymore like writing to him etc. K has been there for me in ways I can't even explain, but I'll give you a few examples. One simple time that crosses my mind was once when I got high, and we were on the phone.… Continue reading Through It All We Will Remain In This Life We All Know Friends May Come They May Go Through The Years I Know I Will Stay

Love in a Thousand Different Flavours I Wish That I Could Taste Them all Tonight No, I Ain’t Got No Dinner Plans

After W was killed, months had passed since the funeral and I had had multiple conversations with myself about "moving on". One week I particular I found my thoughts constantly dwelling on things like 'was I ready', and if I was how would I even meet someone new?!? I no longer went to the club/pub/bars,… Continue reading Love in a Thousand Different Flavours I Wish That I Could Taste Them all Tonight No, I Ain’t Got No Dinner Plans

Hands Roam, I Turned Him to Gold/Get Drunk on the Good Life/Smoke a Little Weed on the Couch

In grade 11, my parents made the mistake of trusting me home alone for the weekend. They were taking a vacation alone (good for them) and for some reason felt I was mature enough to handle the house on my own. Oh for sure I was... I just choose not to make the best decisions… Continue reading Hands Roam, I Turned Him to Gold/Get Drunk on the Good Life/Smoke a Little Weed on the Couch

Nobody Said It Was Easy. No One Ever Said It Would Be This Hard

I'd like to say that once I got back to Canada things got better fast. But that would be a complete lie. It was hard. There were so many stressful factors I didn't even consider when thinking the whole "leave E" thing through. My parents let us stay with them for which I am so… Continue reading Nobody Said It Was Easy. No One Ever Said It Would Be This Hard

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together

So today I was back at the airport for the first time since flying back from Kenya 3 years ago. I felt like a deja vu kinda thing happening. I had to head out there for work to meet some of the guys we'd recruited for work and it was just a causal meet and… Continue reading We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together

Tell the World I’m Coming… Home

I booked flights for about 10 days out. They were the right combination of cheapest and nearest in date. Well they weren't cheap, but I just wanted out of there ASAP. Then, after I booked the flights and paid, I sent an email to my mom letting her know our itinerary and just an update… Continue reading Tell the World I’m Coming… Home

Should I Stay Or Should I Go Now

I spent the next couple of days in what can only be described as a fog. I was there. I was alive. But I was definitely not thinking clearly. Everything was blurry. Fuzzy. I couldn't concentrate on any of the mundane day to day things that needed to be done. The kids needed to be… Continue reading Should I Stay Or Should I Go Now

Gimme All Your Money, All Your Hugs and Kisses too

While living outside of Kakamega, Kenya, it seemed more difficult for E to adjust then for myself. New things don't scare me much, and I'm always up for talking to new people and having new experiences. But for E, what we didn't understand at the time (about 2013-2014) was that his schizophrenic tendencies were becoming… Continue reading Gimme All Your Money, All Your Hugs and Kisses too