Am I Dead? Or Is This One Of Those Dreams? Those Horrible Dreams That Seem Like They Last Forever?

I just need a break. Seriously life, just back off with the shit throwing OK? Deal? So as promised, well not even promised but told to E yesterday, the kids and I called him last night to video chat. During which he proceeded to inform me that his Dad's burial is on the same day… Continue reading Am I Dead? Or Is This One Of Those Dreams? Those Horrible Dreams That Seem Like They Last Forever?

I Never Lose Nothing But Damn I Done Had It I Ain’t Never Strike Out They Can’t Average What I Batted No

So thanks to E constantly delaying the divorce, today is officially my eight year wedding anniversary. And I've spent 3.5 of those years trying to put E in my past. It's a work in progress. August 7th, 2009. The seventh day, of the eighth month, of the ninth year. E didn't care when we got… Continue reading I Never Lose Nothing But Damn I Done Had It I Ain’t Never Strike Out They Can’t Average What I Batted No

Figures, I Gave You Ride Or Die And You Gave Me Games/Love Figures I Gave You All And You Gave Me Shit

I've never felt so outright disrespected probably ever, at least that I can remember. W? He was killed. E? Never knew what he was doing. But this? This is K actively being... well just awful. So the mess with K? Well I've been working behind the scene trying to get word to him. Making sure… Continue reading Figures, I Gave You Ride Or Die And You Gave Me Games/Love Figures I Gave You All And You Gave Me Shit

Happy Birthday To You Happy Birthday Dear Little E, Happy Birthday To You.

Today is little E's 7th birthday. And I have so many things I've been wanting to post about, but decided to write about the day he was born. Because that's a story of its own! My pregnancy with little E went great. Absolutely no morning sickness, none of the uncomfortable sleeping at night, just a… Continue reading Happy Birthday To You Happy Birthday Dear Little E, Happy Birthday To You.

Through It All We Will Remain In This Life We All Know Friends May Come They May Go Through The Years I Know I Will Stay

Some of you have asked why I even bother with K anymore like writing to him etc. K has been there for me in ways I can't even explain, but I'll give you a few examples. One simple time that crosses my mind was once when I got high, and we were on the phone.… Continue reading Through It All We Will Remain In This Life We All Know Friends May Come They May Go Through The Years I Know I Will Stay

No, I Don’t Want Your Number No, I Don’t Want To Give You Mine And No, I Don’t Want To Meet You Nowhere No, I Don’t Want None Of Your Time

Holy! Men are literally coming outta the woodwork. I took a picture at work and posted it on the gram today (because I look amazing as I discussed yesterday lol) and my phones been going non-stop. I guess I should preface this by saying selfies for me used to be VERY rare. Like my whole… Continue reading No, I Don’t Want Your Number No, I Don’t Want To Give You Mine And No, I Don’t Want To Meet You Nowhere No, I Don’t Want None Of Your Time

Wake Me Up When It’s All Over. When I’m Wiser And I’m Older. 

As we were preparing to get married, E shared a "tradition" from back home that he wanted us to partake in. This might be difficult to explain as it's regarding names and I try to avoid them, as well as the fact that the "tradition" turned out to be 100% fake, and we did something… Continue reading Wake Me Up When It’s All Over. When I’m Wiser And I’m Older. 

Am I Out Of My Mind? If You Only Knew The Bad Things I Like Don’t Think That I Can Explain It. What Can I Say, It’s Complicated

So I've been in and out of touch with K since he first got re-arrested. I'm sorry I don't remember where I left off with this story so if I repeat myself or miss a whole chunk (hopefully not) please forgive me.  The last time I heard from him was Monday when he called again… Continue reading Am I Out Of My Mind? If You Only Knew The Bad Things I Like Don’t Think That I Can Explain It. What Can I Say, It’s Complicated

Love in a Thousand Different Flavours I Wish That I Could Taste Them all Tonight No, I Ain’t Got No Dinner Plans

After W was killed, months had passed since the funeral and I had had multiple conversations with myself about "moving on". One week I particular I found my thoughts constantly dwelling on things like 'was I ready', and if I was how would I even meet someone new?!? I no longer went to the club/pub/bars,… Continue reading Love in a Thousand Different Flavours I Wish That I Could Taste Them all Tonight No, I Ain’t Got No Dinner Plans

If I Got Locked Away And We Lost it All Today Tell Me Honestly, Would You Still Love Me The Same?

He called.  Finally. Right in the middle of my Canada Day family gathering with everyone over at my place. On a line where I could barely hear anything, but it didn't matter because he called.  So I can put to rest some imaginary situations my very active mind had thought up in the last few… Continue reading If I Got Locked Away And We Lost it All Today Tell Me Honestly, Would You Still Love Me The Same?