Am I Dead? Or Is This One Of Those Dreams? Those Horrible Dreams That Seem Like They Last Forever?

I just need a break. Seriously life, just back off with the shit throwing OK? Deal? So as promised, well not even promised but told to E yesterday, the kids and I called him last night to video chat. During which he proceeded to inform me that his Dad's burial is on the same day… Continue reading Am I Dead? Or Is This One Of Those Dreams? Those Horrible Dreams That Seem Like They Last Forever?

Cause In The Night I Hear Him Talk The Coldest Story Ever Told Somewhere Far Along This Road He Lost His Soul

So my mom felt the need to alert me about something she saw on Facebook late last night... After the whole argument that started because of her oversharing on Facebook, go figure. But I woke up to a text from her letting me know that E's dad had passed away. And it pissed me off… Continue reading Cause In The Night I Hear Him Talk The Coldest Story Ever Told Somewhere Far Along This Road He Lost His Soul

Do You Like the Taste, Stuff it in Your Face, It’s Not Nice to Waste.

Tuna Casserole is THEEE most disgusting meal known to mankind. I've eaten a lot of "different" foods in my life, but still to this day I have a huge hatred towards tuna casserole... or what was passed off as casserole while I was living in Namibia. Since the orphanage operated off donations and volunteers, funds… Continue reading Do You Like the Taste, Stuff it in Your Face, It’s Not Nice to Waste.

I Just Started to See the Light of Day, I Just Started Hating Some People Today

I met my "Dad" again at 14 years old.  It had been close to 10 years since he gave up his visitation rights to R and I, and stopped showing up once a month to drive us down to his house in the next city for the weekend. He also stopped paying child support for the two… Continue reading I Just Started to See the Light of Day, I Just Started Hating Some People Today

There’s Such a Difference Between us, and a Million Miles 

This morning I remembered about a time I was "in love" before W. Do I think you can love more than one person in your life? Yes, we are human and feel emotions for people. But, what I felt for J should probably be classified more as an infatuation or a fling, and because I… Continue reading There’s Such a Difference Between us, and a Million Miles 

I’ll Choose to Survive, Whatever it Takes 

Yesterday I took my kids to the zoo, where I got my first mosquito bite of the year. I'm sure no one's a fan of mosquitoes, but I have a particular hatred towards them. When I lived in Kenya they took an extreme liking to me. I could stand in a group  of people, didn't… Continue reading I’ll Choose to Survive, Whatever it Takes 

I’m Friends With the Monster That’s Under My Bed. Get Along With the Voices Inside of My Head

Once E was served with divorce papers, he called me freaking out. It took over two months for my lawyer and I to get everything straightened out on paper and all the proper documents filled out, before he was actually notified on April 29, 2014. All the time between my flying back from Kenya and… Continue reading I’m Friends With the Monster That’s Under My Bed. Get Along With the Voices Inside of My Head

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together

So today I was back at the airport for the first time since flying back from Kenya 3 years ago. I felt like a deja vu kinda thing happening. I had to head out there for work to meet some of the guys we'd recruited for work and it was just a causal meet and… Continue reading We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together

Tell the World I’m Coming… Home

I booked flights for about 10 days out. They were the right combination of cheapest and nearest in date. Well they weren't cheap, but I just wanted out of there ASAP. Then, after I booked the flights and paid, I sent an email to my mom letting her know our itinerary and just an update… Continue reading Tell the World I’m Coming… Home

Should I Stay Or Should I Go Now

I spent the next couple of days in what can only be described as a fog. I was there. I was alive. But I was definitely not thinking clearly. Everything was blurry. Fuzzy. I couldn't concentrate on any of the mundane day to day things that needed to be done. The kids needed to be… Continue reading Should I Stay Or Should I Go Now