I’ll Take A Breath, I’ll Take Her By My Side We Stand In Awe, We’ve Created Life

With little E's birthday yesterday and Z's coming up next week, it's really been hitting a chord I didn't even know I had. I want another baby. My kids are growing up and soon I'll have a 4 & 7 year old in my house and I won't even be able to pretend I have… Continue reading I’ll Take A Breath, I’ll Take Her By My Side We Stand In Awe, We’ve Created Life

A Lady In The Street But A Freak In The Bed

I just wanna cry. At myself. At my continuous dumb decisions. At the world. At men. At life right now. I'm literally overwhelmed. And crying as I type, yet I can't pinpoint the exact reason why because so many fucked up things continue to occur. I thought I was done with K after that letter… Continue reading A Lady In The Street But A Freak In The Bed

Through It All We Will Remain In This Life We All Know Friends May Come They May Go Through The Years I Know I Will Stay

Some of you have asked why I even bother with K anymore like writing to him etc. K has been there for me in ways I can't even explain, but I'll give you a few examples. One simple time that crosses my mind was once when I got high, and we were on the phone.… Continue reading Through It All We Will Remain In This Life We All Know Friends May Come They May Go Through The Years I Know I Will Stay

If I Got Locked Away And We Lost it All Today Tell Me Honestly, Would You Still Love Me The Same?

He called.  Finally. Right in the middle of my Canada Day family gathering with everyone over at my place. On a line where I could barely hear anything, but it didn't matter because he called.  So I can put to rest some imaginary situations my very active mind had thought up in the last few… Continue reading If I Got Locked Away And We Lost it All Today Tell Me Honestly, Would You Still Love Me The Same?

To Be in Love With Someone Who Could Never Love You

Have you ever been in a relationship or just a friendship where you felt like they were your everything and you were just 'something' to them... at best?  Or where you can't be with them because of dumb or made up reason and you find yourself always having to contain your feelings/emotions for them because… Continue reading To Be in Love With Someone Who Could Never Love You

We’ve Grown to Close for that, Fuck a Friend Zone I Know I Ain’t Perfect

So last night, K called again (twice but I was busy the first time around) and after he got off the phone as quickly as possible, I realized the call was similar to one I would've had with my mother. "Tell me about your day" "How are the kids" "Oh you need things like this… Continue reading We’ve Grown to Close for that, Fuck a Friend Zone I Know I Ain’t Perfect

Any Girl Like You Deserves a Gentleman 

I want to be taken on a date.   A real honest to goodness date. Where I spend time showering, shaving, exfoliating, and lotioning every inch of my body. Then spending close to an hour delicately diffusing my hair so the curls are just right. Next carefully applying more makeup then the standard routine including… Continue reading Any Girl Like You Deserves a Gentleman 

Are You Afraid of Being Alone Cause I am, I’m Lost Without You

Would I be okay alone? This question has crossed my mind too much recently, and to answer, of course I would be okay. But I wouldn't thrive. You see even when you are in a relationship, you are destined to be alone at some points in your life. Most in fact, but it's the knowledge… Continue reading Are You Afraid of Being Alone Cause I am, I’m Lost Without You

You’re All I See, Our Love’s a Monster with 2 Heads and 1 Heartbeat, We Just Got Caught up in the Moment

So, I told K I couldn't do "it" (more about "it" here: Flaws On the Table, I Don’t Feel Insecure). At least I'm pretty sure I told him... I was high while on the phone, since I knew I couldn't talk about it "on my own".  This was something I honestly would've considered if K and I… Continue reading You’re All I See, Our Love’s a Monster with 2 Heads and 1 Heartbeat, We Just Got Caught up in the Moment