Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

So. I'm having a terrible horrible no good very bad day 🙃. I woke up on the WRONG side of the bed this morning and for some reason everything my kids did was just extra annoying and I could not keep my shit together and be kind or patient with them in anyway shape or …

We Coming From A Long Bloodline Of Trauma We Raised By Our Mamas, Lord We Gotta Heal

I'm here, and alive. I truly have nothing of value to say in this post, I just have the urge to write. I know it's been a while and so here I am. Many things have happened in my life since my last post. Little E turned 9 last week, and Z's birthday is also …

Welcome To Existence Everyone’s Here / Everybody’s Watching You Now Everybody Waits For You Now What Happens Next?

Today an ad popped up on my Instagram about preparing wills. This is something I have been purposefully avoiding my entire life. Not because I'm afraid to die because of death and all that jazz, but because in my will, I will undoubtedly have to name a Guardian for my kids. And I have no …

Thoughts

A few weeks ago I was laying in bed and relaxing before going to sleep and calming my breathing and thought patterns as has become my habit lately. Also something that has become part of my life is thinking of K too much. I try to avoid it as much as possible. I pushed thought …

I’m Going Deep, In Over My Head I Want To Be Caught In The Rush, Lost In The Flow, In Over My Head I Want To Go

So I got an unexpected call today. I was at work at the swimming pool called me. Little E was on a field trip (and will be on the same one for the next three Wednesday's) for swimming lessons. They spend 30 minutes for lessons and then have 30 minutes for free time. Well, they …

Leaving To Find My Soul Told Her I Had To Go And I Know It Ain’t Pretty When Our Hearts Get Broke

The fact that I am alive is proof enough that I am a God. No one can confirm for sure how the world started.  Not when or how or at what point, which leaves it wide open for interpretation on exactly how or why we got to this place in history or the present place …

I Find Myself Longing For Change And In The Bad Times I Fear Myself

Monday I had a friend over and I got so drunk. Something I've done less than a handful of times in my entire life. Drinking is really not something I find desirable shall we say. Anyways, life has been stressing me out more than normal and so I just let it all go. Nothing crazy …

My Cousins Are Crazy / When I Started Out I Just Took What They Gave Me / When You Livin Like This You Supposed To Hate

Caller #3. Last night I got a call from the prison again. Which I thought (again) was weird when I saw the number show up on my phone. For so many reasons I'm sure you could guess, but the main one being that T (the guy who wrote the phone number wrong last week, for …

I Am Driven By Hunger, So Saddened To Be Thieving In Darkness; I Know You’re Not Pleased But Nothing Worth Eating Is Free

I hate BC. I sent my kids to play outside today, because the weather was nice, yes. But thirty seconds later Z came inside to say there was a dead rat in the yard. Oh HELLLLLL NOOOOOO! I was like are you sure? You didn't touch it, did you? Don't touch it! What did you …

Them Filthy Rodents Are Still Coming For Your Souls Never To Let Go

I almost had a heart attack this morning. I'm just waking up, you know that phase when your counting how many minutes you have to get ready if you wake up in that moment, as opposed to pressing snooze one more time, when Little E slams his door shut and runs into my room. He's …