While You Laughin’ We’re Passin’ Passin’ Away 

Stoic. Heartless. Cold blooded.  Emotionless. Indifferent. Uncaring. Reserved. Nonchalant. Apathetic. Matter of fact. Bitch. All names I've been called in the past that make complete sense to me now.  I received the call today. My grandma passed away a couple of hours ago. And I really, unfortunately don't feel anything towards the situation. And that… Continue reading While You Laughin’ We’re Passin’ Passin’ Away 

And if I Don’t Make it, Know That I Loved You All Along

My Grandma is dying. She was diagnosed less then two months ago with lung cancer that has spread like wild fire into her spine and throughout her body. Chemo was a no go, because the cancer was too far gone, and Radiation has only been recommended to help shrink some of the larger tumours that… Continue reading And if I Don’t Make it, Know That I Loved You All Along

I Don’t Ever Wanna Feel Like I Did That Day, Take Me to the Place I Love, Take Me All the Way

When I was 19, my body was used for the first time in ways that changed me forever. I was really good friends with this one couple A and M.  We worked together, we went out every weekend together partying. I was even planning on moving in with the girl A in a few weeks… Continue reading I Don’t Ever Wanna Feel Like I Did That Day, Take Me to the Place I Love, Take Me All the Way

This Thing Turned Out so Evil, Don’t Know Why I’m Still Surprised 

Filing for divorce was not an easy process. I had some time to sort out what I was going to do and how I was going to do it, because E was away at work. He worked at a camp in a remote area so I didn't have to worry about him for a while.… Continue reading This Thing Turned Out so Evil, Don’t Know Why I’m Still Surprised 

‘Cause I’m Only Human After All 

There has been a lot going on in my life. Well that's obvious for everyone who's been reading my posts so far.  But I'm talking in the here and now life. It's getting to the point where I've been really questioning life in general, and how it works. Like when does "God" or "Karma" or… Continue reading ‘Cause I’m Only Human After All 

Nobody Said It Was Easy. No One Ever Said It Would Be This Hard

I'd like to say that once I got back to Canada things got better fast. But that would be a complete lie. It was hard. There were so many stressful factors I didn't even consider when thinking the whole "leave E" thing through. My parents let us stay with them for which I am so… Continue reading Nobody Said It Was Easy. No One Ever Said It Would Be This Hard

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together

So today I was back at the airport for the first time since flying back from Kenya 3 years ago. I felt like a deja vu kinda thing happening. I had to head out there for work to meet some of the guys we'd recruited for work and it was just a causal meet and… Continue reading We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together

Tell the World I’m Coming… Home

I booked flights for about 10 days out. They were the right combination of cheapest and nearest in date. Well they weren't cheap, but I just wanted out of there ASAP. Then, after I booked the flights and paid, I sent an email to my mom letting her know our itinerary and just an update… Continue reading Tell the World I’m Coming… Home

Should I Stay Or Should I Go Now

I spent the next couple of days in what can only be described as a fog. I was there. I was alive. But I was definitely not thinking clearly. Everything was blurry. Fuzzy. I couldn't concentrate on any of the mundane day to day things that needed to be done. The kids needed to be… Continue reading Should I Stay Or Should I Go Now

The Cat Came Back

The drive away from my home and my life was quiet. I was doing my best to stay calm. I had my kids to worry about, and I didn't want them to sense anything was more wrong then what was blatantly obvious... Daddy had just beat up mommy, and had packed up our things and kicked… Continue reading The Cat Came Back